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I read your post and I could relate to every word. I am exactly like you. My doctor prescribed to me Lorazapam. (very mld tranquilizer) I always carry it withy me and if I get hurt really bad or are in pain, I take it immediately. I also take a pill when I go to the dentist. Once time recently I stepped on a huge nail and I had a seizure before I even get to the pill bottle. But on MANY other occassions, the pill seems to really help me and I didn't faint or have a seizure. I only take the pills as needed. I have a prescription of thirty pills per year and it turns out I didn't even use half of them. Also just knowing that i have something avaible to calm me down is kind of a security blanket for me.
Good luck. I know it may feelk like it but you are not alone:)