[ Home | Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
I haven't been on this site for a while, otherwise I would have answered you sooner. I could relate to everything you said!!
No, I am not a parent. I am a 29 year old woman and I am getting married this year. I want a family more than anything but I have so many concerns like you. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to get through the pregnacy and esp get through the actual child birth. I am also afraid of passing on my genes to a child and having seeing them go through the same things. Taking care of a child does scare me bc you just don't know what's in store but up to this point I've done pretty well in the role of a caretaker when others in my family have needed my assistance.
This may sound ridiculous to other but having a dog has given me more confidence and she simply makes me less anxious and very happy. I;ve had a pug for 5 years and she has some health problems. She needs medicine every day and I have to take her to the vet often. For 1 year she actually needed shots every week (which of course I could'nt do for her or even witness) But suprisingly enough, the veternarian, my fiance, and even my neighbor were all there to help me bc I couldn't do certain things. My point is, if you have a strong support network, it can really make a differnce. I have even called 911 before when a friend was hurt because I couldn't care for him.
One time a couple years ago my dog got hurt outside and she was bleeding. I couldn't believe I was cleaning her up and taking care of her without fainting. I know it sounds silly! but it really was a big step for me. Last week I turned around and my dog's face was as big a balloon and her eyes were swollen shut. I was scared but very calm. I immediately called the animal hospital and without hesitation jumped into the car and brought her there. It turns out she had an allergic reaction to a epider bite. Before the doctor gave her the shots I excused myself from the room. I understand completely doesn't compare to raising a child but for me it's given me the confidence to at least consider the possiblity.
Before I get pregnant I want to line up specialists for high risk pregnancies and at least be at my physical best. I am working out at the gym to get in shape for my wedding and to possibly try to get pregnant next year. If when the times comes, that is what we decide to do, I'm going to give it my all. For me I keep struggling with the thought that I only have this one life to live and if it is my dream to have a child then maybe I have to try and just have faith in the outcome. Maybe we are stronger than we ever imagined.
I wish you good luck.